....is fuckin gay. A few weeks ago I joined another band and we hit it off right away, and we got ourselves a nice little jam room happening, writing new songs etc. So last weekend this mexican dude comes in to try out as our singer. Our drummer tells us this guy's all religious, no big deal to me as long as he doesn't start preaching and shit. So he comes in and I do a double take when I see this gangster/douche outfit he's all decked out in: sideways flat brim hat, tattoos all over, ripped up wifebeater with just the front little scrap tucked into sagging pants with his boxers hanging all over the place. He must have had a safety pin or somethin holding it down there, cause there's no way that shirt was just staying put by itself. He claims to be a "lead singer" and all he's got is the smallest guitar amp I've ever seen (about the size of a lunch box) for a P.A. Then he asks me if I would take the pentagrams off my amp 'cause they represent Beezlebub and, y'know, not many people know this but he's got a real strong connection to the spirit world.
*sound of everyone trying not to laugh in this guy's face*
Me: "Well.....if we click, I'm sure we'll make it work."
We wound up having to run his mic through the return input on my amp just so we could hear him, and he's doing this crying/emo/but-still-tough-guy Atryeu Linkin Park bullshit in between all the feedback that's happening. So finally we just turned his shit down so we could jam, and he's there acting like he's the next American Idol or something.
So he asks us what we think, the other guys are like 'oh yeah, it's pretty cool' blah blah and I'm just like "Yeah, um, it sounds a little too much like what high school kids listen to and you're good at that style but I'm kinda....not."
Dude's got kids with not one but four different chicks so I'm hoping he'll just flake out on us, maybe read the Bible a little more closely, whatever, but of course he calls back like 4 times. So, we still need a singer.
And the highlighted would call for an instant "GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE !!"